Or Not.

So.  So much for high hopes and good intentions.  I cant get away from what I am or who I am.  I am a gal who speaks her mind, in public places, and gets shit for it.  Even after I apologize, it doesnt seem to help.  Sigh.  I hate groveling too.  I hate being made to feel like a bad person because I blurted out something spontaneously that someone disagreed with, or didnt want to hear.  Im learning it doesnt help to do damage control either.  It just doesnt.  So, here I am, 6 days into the new year already realizing that its no different than the OLD year, the one I left behind, the one I hoped I could improve upon.  Well, to all the asswipes that cant accept an apology or who think they are so perfect they’ll never do anything THEY’D have to apologize for–here’s a NEWZ FLASH for ya, NOBODY’S PERFECT.  (Believe me when I say that I had to exercise great restraint not to put what I really wanted to say)

And all my talk about finding something GOOD about myself I could build upon?  Well, I guess thats subjective isnt it?  What I think is good (being honest for instance, or spontaneous) other folks detest.   Its kinda hard to build up yer self confidence when you’re so out of sync with the rest of the world that the qualities you value in yourself are pretty much what makes you NOT FIT IN!!  Well, SCREW THAT.  Fitting in is OVERRATED anyway.  I dont know what the hell the future holds for me anymore, but I sure hope it includes someone who can appreciate me just the way I am.  Let me say that again:  JUST THE WAY I AM.


~ by irishgrl on January 6, 2009.

30 Responses to “Or Not.”

  1. That’s the better way to start the year off.
    But that’s just my opinion.

    And by that’s the better way, I mean to take who you are and TAKE it instead of trying to CHANGE it.
    You can’t CHANGE who you are.
    Or at least that’s what Carrots told me one time. 😛 And, I think he’s right.

  2. I think he is too. I just wish sometimes I wasnt such a misfit….
    very few people appreciate the real me, although I think you lot come pretty close 😛

  3. Misfits are the most fun. It’s the ones that fit in that are boring, cookie-cutter-like, and very predictable. Which is boring.

  4. I gotta hand it to ya, yer making me feel better about myself 🙂
    Thx my friend, and I mean that ❤

  5. I try 🙂
    But, it’s the truth, so I’m really not trying anything (even though that was the goal, yes, but I mean it all, so it’s really not trying after all…if that makes sense 😛 ).
    And you are very, very welcome.
    ❤ 🙂

  6. I knew what yew meant, no worries, you always make perfect sense, except when you dont (just kidding, I know a lot of the time what you are trying to say, except for the secret bits, which Ive just resigned myself to never knowing).

    Im glad we got past the rough patch, and I hope we will always be friends 🙂

  7. Yay!!! 😛
    (And yeah…I’m kinda sketchy on the “secret bits” 😛 )

    And yes. Friends. I like being friends 🙂

  8. Im half tempted to go back to the site that Ive been stressing over and tell those wankers to piss off….If it didnt have the potential to backfire on me, I would.

  9. DO IT!!!! 😛
    Why would it backfire on you?

  10. because its also affiliated with another site belonging to someone whose opinion I DO care about…so, I bite my tongue and weather the humiliation….long story

  11. Ohhhhh…..
    Good reason.

  12. :O

  13. moose, you have such a way with words!!!

  14. “It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.” – Andre Gide

  15. Well, my friend, I think Ive achieved that dubious distinction as you well know!

  16. Maybe you are delluding yourself into believing that it is your ‘openess and spontanaity” that people don’t like when in reality, you are just opening your mouth before you think it through.

    Just an option. 🙂

  17. somebody get this guy a dictionary for Xmas. Once you get one, Mr. B, please educate yourself as to the meaning of “spontaneous” JUST AN OPTION.

    One could forgive your gaffe if you admitted you, too, acted spontaneously; Unfortunately, I think in YOUR case Mr B, you were deliberate in your snub, but failed to note the delicious irony of your comment. Tsk Tsk. Is that OPEN enuff for ya wiseguy?

  18. Same old same old same old Mary.

    Sad really.

    Don’t address the point but throw some shit in the air as a distraction.

    You get drunk and say things you shouldn’t and then dig yourself in even deeper defending yourself.

    How’s that wisegirl?

    I am glad the fire missed you by the way. 🙂

    enjoy your delusional blog, I will be filling this blogs place with something more honest and believable, say the National Enqurirer maybe.

    I spelled a feew things wrong on purpose so you have aa way out.

  19. What is SAD, nay pathetic even, is that you come here at ALL. The POINT, because you missed it, was that I am spontaneous, which you actually pointed out, though you ironically didnt realize it! Hence my comment that you desperately NEED a dictionary.

    Oh how I missed your “drunk” bombs. Still not sure why you and your ilk can get drunk, celebrate drinking, post drunken YouTube videos with drinks in your hand, and bottles of stuff on the counters, but you talk about ME? Not only are you ironic, you are a HYPOCRITE. Same old, same old INDEED.

    I guess your sorry pathetic little lives are so boring when you dont have anyone to pick on that you actually went looking for me! Do you even realize how astoundingly hilarious that is?

  20. LOL –
    you actually have no idea who I am.

    Once again you jump to conclusions. oops, I mean, being spontaneous.
    I have never been on youtube drinking or anything of the like.
    Anyone who challenges you, you automatically decide that they must be from a certain group of horses. Point in fact, there are plenty of us who think you are a nut job outside of your scapegoat group.

  21. You’re certainly entitled to your opinion, as inconsequential as it may be. I wasnt saying YOU personally were drunk on YouTube, but your cronies have been and yet Im sure you excuse them in your hypocritical way. Its been a real laff riot seeing you all talk about your pot smoking and drug taking and various mental conditions and yet you call me a drunk based on WHAT exactly? The fact that I decided to remove a post or a comment that I regretted or reconsidered? I do that all the time, no alcohol involved.
    The real truth is, I stood up to you and your pack mentality and there were plenty of folks who thought you eejits were nutjobs too.

    I have no problem with being challenged, just with folks who do so in a cowardly fashion. I am not scapegoating anyone, or jumping to any conclusions. Your own cyber footprints gave you away. That and your oh-so-predictable “drunken Irish” comments. Nobody twisted your arm to come here, and by coming here only to post your hateful comments, you PROVE that if anyone has the issue here it is YOU. Perhaps you need your meds adjusted?

  22. Quoteing Irishgirl:
    “Still not sure why you and your ilk can get drunk, celebrate drinking, post drunken YouTube videos ….”

    that is your quote. “still not sure why YOU…AND… your ilk…”

    so how weren’t you saying that I personally was drunk on youtube.


    I came to know of you from the ledge and your dealing with people from there.

    I have NEVER said anything about you being drunk anywhere but right here, so no, I am sorry you have me confused with someone else. We never tussled before.

    I have no cronies. I have friends. 🙂

    and the only hateful one seems to be you.

    I honestly hope that things get better for you at some point in your life Mary and you are able to see just how crazy you come off over the internet. (Try typing two sentences in a row without being an attack dog or calling someone a name ok?)

    It will go a long way.

    Because I challenge your bullshit doesn’t make me hateful.

    You can now be as hateful as you like.
    I won’t be back.
    I won’t ever look you up again.

    oh, and say hi to satan for me. 😉

    (ok – that was close to hateful, but come-on, you deserve a little back of what you dish up right?)

  23. OMG. more irony. You came here, deliberately attacking ME and you have the nerve, the temerity to lecture ME about name calling or being an attack dog? As for whether or not we tussled, since you choose to stay anonymous, I have no idea what you said to me in the past. Unless or until you grew a backbone and identified yourself, you can hardly blame me if I go on the meager clues I have to determine your identity. If I know nothing else about you, your choice of “friends” tells me all I need to know. AND, for your information, again, I did not say you personally were drunk on YouTube. And taking a quote OUT OF CONTEXT does not prove anything! What I SAID was: “Still not sure why you and your ilk can get drunk, celebrate drinking, post drunken YouTube videos with drinks in your hand, and bottles of stuff on the counters, but you talk about ME?” Taken as a whole, (and not piecemeal like you did) it is CLEAR (except to spindoctors such as yourself) that I was describing a laundry list of behaviors that some or all of you have engaged in. Since you are too cowardly to say which Ledgie you are, of course I dont know exactly what YOU did. What I DO know however is that you all have no problem with drinking or being filmed for all the world to see singing drunken Karaoke (Jazzmen or Carrie?) or even posting while drunk (as Sarah has admitted to doing many many times). Your hypocrisy is amazing!

    You can save your phony “hope that things get better for [me]” because I know it for what it is…a pathetic attempt to salvage your credibility when it is patently obvious you despise me. Dont worry, the feeling is entirely mutual.

    BTW: I dont care whether you come back or not. Im more than happy to cross swords with you or any other Ledgie/Horsemanity member any time. You dungheaps are laffable really…

  24. PS: I have to laff at the lengths at which the Horsemanity/Ledgie crowd will go to to HIDE!!!!

    case in point:

    yep…yer ass needs hiding all right!!

  25. This is that FAT PIG MikeSchmike. He loves to HIDE BEHIND EVERYONE! He is a pathetic little queer who hides behind the dykes in an effort to have at least some friends!!! nHAHAHA! Mike actually taught Michelle2677 how to swallow cum in a single GULP! He has been teaching a swallow class for years now. Michelle lost all gag reflex after MikeSchmikes cocksucking seminars!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!! Those pathetic pieces of shit are bored out of their minds to be searching you out! All the cool people who had the balls to call them on their bullshit have long forgotten them…and they are reading your blog? I LOVE IT!!!! They love you honey…you make them feel ALIVE!!! HAHAHA!!!

  26. Andre, Ive missed you so!!! xoxo my friend ❤

  27. Hey Mary,

    Whatever happened to BuckymcBITCH?
    That wanna be barfly singer who never made it – so he posted his horrific warblings on The Ledge. Quite a sad sack that one! OH SNAP! LOLOLOL BlackWidow

  28. and that little whore Paula….I used to love how we would attack her and she would run back crying to other ledgie pussies…AH..GOOD TIMES…

  29. I think Carrie ate herself to death in 2008. RIP Carrie….

  30. STOP! STOP! (not really keep it up!) Im laffing so hard I cant stand it! Seriously, Im having a heart attack over here…

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