Just when I thot I’d found an eclectic group of friends to bond with, I see hints of disgruntlement, of resentment if you will…from an unexpected source. I always knew I was a square peg in a round hole in MOST situations, but I thot I’d finally found my niche online. Apparently I was wrong. Serves me right for ditching my “loner” persona, and attempting to fit in.

Well, either Im waaaaaay off base or Im spot on. either way, time will tell..

UPDATE:  Hoo boy, was I ever right.  And was I ever wrong.  RIGHT because I confirmed I am the subject of vitriol on a fellow blogger’s site.  WRONG because I naively thought we were friends.  Apparently I broke an unwritten rule by attempting to join in the clever witty dialogue that I so enjoyed.   Well, I dont know if the animosity is universal or just that one person’s….but I can certainly respect their feelings.  Im not closing any doors, but Im not going to go where Im not wanted either.  Que Sera Sera…..


~ by irishgrl on December 24, 2008.

14 Responses to “Outsider?”

  1. o noes 😦

  2. Aw moose….((((hugs)))) Im not going anywhwere. 🙂

  3. why does everybody hug me?

  4. silly boy, becuz yer huggable! and becuz you had cheez on your shoulder.

  5. Was a Christmas present 🙂

  6. well thx for sharing 😛

  7. I said this inresponse to your comment THERE, and I’ll post it here as well.

    Behind someone’s back?
    I don’t find this to be behind someone’s back. The link is in my blogroll, as EVERYONE ELSE seems to have discovered.
    When I learned musics, a “coda” was the little target lookin’ thing that meant you go to the other target lookin’ thing to play that part of the music. Forgive me for learning incorrectly.
    Lighthearted and teasing, maybe. But sometimes that is hard to find, yes.

    …confusing, but I shall try to explain.
    I have friends. You come and talk to my friends. You’re not around very much, but when you leave, you come back expecting situations to be the same as when you were here last (seems to be that way, anyway). I don’t like that.
    I don’t like how you’re always so nice to Carrots, because “purely lighthearted and teasing” isn’t something you do to a FRIENDS’ boyfriend…..(yes, I know ancient history is ancient history and spencer was an ASSHOLE but competitions is competitions and we remember what that was like, no?).

    I have my moments when I just….I guess remember then, and don’t want then to happen again – which makes no sense because this is different, but you see, no matter how much of a fake spencer was, he was a terrible liar and kept it up for two years (non consecutively) and then after a while, you appeared and all of this was happening then, too. Just, not to the same extent.

    Now my rambings may make no sense, so I shall tell you this.
    I am the jealous type (figure that might be obvious) and I don’t enjoy being such, but anything to be jealous over, I WILL be jealous over, and I cannot help that, no matter how hard I have tried to stop that.

    And I don’t want you to be 10000% pissed off at me. I don’t want you to be pissed off at me at all.
    Believe me – my friends get this treatment. Ask christina, ask corena (well, not really, she would never know about it), or ask nicole…..They ALL got/get it. I get angry at my friends, I lash out and yell at them. I get angry at them, don’t talk to them for an afternoon (school days, you see) and then all is well the next day.
    Bipolar much? Naw, borderline much.
    Sorry. (and that doesn’t sound sincere, but it is. I never meant for you to get angry, I needed to vent my frustrations, didn’t want you to find my frustrations because I knew it would cause THIS and just….ugh. Girl hasta vent..?)

  8. first of all, I understand venting, I do. But I vent at the person I am angry with. I let them know what I think is wrong so they can either make it right or not and I will know how i stand with them.
    As far as Im concerned, you DID go behind my back, link or no link.
    The reason I say that is because I never got a chance to defend myself or explain myself or even tell you to go to hell if thats what I wanted to do (which I dont).

    Im “nice” to Carrots because I like him. Just like I like ALL of you guys. I think you guys are all fun, and funny, and like I said, I thot I found a great group of folks to bond with.

    As for Spencer, I came onto the scene when he invited me, I had no idea about you except what he told me. I never set out to hurt you then or ever. The fact that you got jealous is nothing I could help. My relationship with him was far FAR different than my relationship with any of you guys. I consider you all FRIENDS. Yes even you Jess, because we had something in common, and I felt like he did us a favor in a way….

    I dont know how you’re going to resolve your issues, but I would appreciate it in future if you would come to ME with your complaints or whatever. If my friendship is important to you (and I hope it is) then we owe it to each other to be honest and open. That is my wish for us anyway….

  9. I’m sorry if you think I went behind your back. I hardly ever tell the person I’m angry at that I’m angry at them….Just, never been that way.
    Honest and open. I can do that.

    Jessicabeingstupid was stupid, and said things in the moment, in ways she shouldn’t have, yes. And she wants to be friends with Irishgrl. Really.

  10. Jess, all feelings are valid, its how you handle them thats important. And I want to be your friend too. I do. *offers hand in friendship*

  11. I’m no good at handling them, that’s the thing. 😛
    Friendes. 🙂

  12. Well … I’m an insider; I’ve been burned by the fire, and I’ve had to live with some hard promises. I’ve crawled through the briars, you could even say. 😉

  13. Which Stevie song is that? (or is it? I just assumed it was) but that does remind me of the other edge of the double edged sword of being popular or an “insider,” sometimes you sacrifice your own values just to be accepted….but YOU showed em, didnt you? YOU had (have) INTEGRITY!!! (integrity= being true to yourself). Come to my arms my beamish boy! O Frabjous day, Callooh, Callay! (Im chortling in my joy here ok?)

  14. Stevie with Tom Petty – “Insider.”

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