Its ALL Blarney!!

WARNING: MATURE SUBJECT MATTER (sort of)

I had an AHA moment this evening. An Epiphany. A revelation. Bonked on the head with the GOTCHA! wand. I was in the bathroom (where many of my AHA moments occur if you must know!), thinking about the sorry assed excuses for husbands/boyfriends/playthings I have known over the years…..and how, without exception I gave 200% to each and every one of them. Yet, they all tanked (well, there’s one or two still keeping me busy….) There wasnt a sexual fantasy I wouldnt indulge, a culinary request I wouldnt honor, the home was clean, the bills were paid, and I treated them all like Kings. There was just one problem–I apparently didnt know my place. If I thought something was wrong, I said so. And said so, and said so…….. unless or until the problem (whatever it was) was fixed. Most of my relationships as a result were pretty wild. So, these poor men, they were between a rock and a hard place. They stayed for the sex, but man, they sure hated my bitching! What they didnt realize was that I drew from the same well of energy for both the nagging and the shagging!

I didnt realize it either until just now. I am, and always have been very intense, like a coiled spring, like a controlled tornado. Oh sure, Im a bit more sedate at this point of my life, but I can still call upon that energy at a moments notice…and sometimes it comes upon me unawares…and I have to ride out the storm. So anyway, like I said, Im intense. I always knew that. But what Im just now absorbing is that very very few people in this universe can handle that kind of energy. Im told I exhaust people, sap their strength, because I just keep going and going long after they’ve waved that white flag. (Bunch of whiners!)

I dont know why Im this way, but Im beginning to change how I see myself. I used to think that I needed to be more like everyone else, fit in, blend…..now, I think Im glad for my difference, because the truth is, my relationships didnt fizzle because I wasnt woman enough, they fizzled because I was TOO MUCH WOMAN for the men I knew. Its gonna take a very special man to tame me, Im here ta tell ya. One with SPIRIT! One who is secure enough in his own skin to appreciate me being ME. One who can embrace the wildness with me.

Kind of like these two:

~ by irishgrl on August 19, 2008.

Posted in Adult Content, because I said so, Oddz and Endz
Tags: aha, energy, epiphany, gotcha, intense, nagging and shagging, revelation, sex, sexual fantasy, spirit, tanked, too much woman, wild